Irony's One Night Stand
by TingedAutumn
Summary: There were moments when she felt such anger towards him it scared her; other times she wanted to know him, his heart, his mind, his soul. Was that love? Was it insanity? Was it too many hits to the head? NaruSaku fluff. Chapter four up!
1. Irony's Punches

It happened in the most unexpected way. One moment Sakura was yelling at him, pounding on him, pushing him aside for their team-mate, never sure why her heart fluttered when he smiled at her; then, suddenly, Sakura was pulling him close to her, tangling her fingers in his hair and moaning his name, urging him on, without any hint of irony. It was funny, sometimes, how much things could change.

"Sakura-Chan…"

And sometimes, it wasn't funny at all.

--

"Naruto you…you idiot!"

The blond Shinobi winced as his female team-mate's voice pierced the quiet of the village. It was early morning, surely he couldn't have done nothing wrong yet? But even as he turned his head, and spotted the pink-haired Haruna Sakura march towards him, clutching a smoking _thing­ _in her hand, he knew that yes, he was so very, very screwed.

"Morning Sakur-AAH!"

WHAM.

"Naruto, what the hell were you thinking?" Sakura demanded, her green eyes flashing. "I wake up this morning and I find my medicine cabinet DECIMATED. Destroyed. RUINED. And I know it was you because you dropped some ramen on the bathroom floor. What were you _doing_?"

Naruto rubbed his head wearily. "I…uh…injured myself last night, and I didn't want to wake you up. I didn't ruin all of it."

"How did _any_ of it get ruined?"  
"I sorta mixed my chakra with the medicine and I thought that maybe I would heal faster, but-" He grinned sheepishly. "I thought wrong."

"No kidding." Sakura breathed deeply, trying to keep her temper under control. "How did you hurt yourself?"

"Training."

Sakura needed to ask no more. Naruto had become obsessed with his training, not to gain power, but to prove he didn't need the Kyuubi inside him; her face softened. Naruto, noting the change, visibly relaxed.

"Next time Naruto…" Sakura said quietly, putting the ruined medicine in the garbage. "You can wake me up."

Naruto nodded. His eyes lighted with something Sakura wasn't quite sure how to interpret- a cross between hope and desire. Sakura turned her face away and pretended to be very interested in the shop window they stood before. Naruto's eyes unsettled her, but if she were to be honest with herself, she wanted there to be something there: something like the way men looked at the cheesy women in Make Out Paradise.

"We'd better get ready for training." Sakura said, her voice higher then usual.

Naruto nodded, the look gone from his eyes. Had she imagined it? "Okay."

Why were boys so impossible?

--

**AU: First chapter up! Woohoo's! I'm actually pretty pleased with this one; I was planning on making it a one shot, but decided to sort of have dramatic fluffy tension. XD Lemon shall be galore! RxR please! Comments will be used for my new jutsu. .**


	2. Friends With Benefits

**A/N: Another chapter! Wootsauce!**

**DISCLAIMER: Naruto and all related charactors, places and all things right down to their socks are Mishim...Moto...Damn. How do you spell his name? Anyways, you know the drill. Its not mine. I wish it, I demand it, it ain't happening. Enjoy.**

--

"So, how big was he?"

"Ino-pig!"

It was late afternoon, with fat bulbs blooming into flowers and tree's calming into the simple green of spring. Sakura and Ino sat in the outdoor vendor, sipping green tea and finally unwinding after hours of training; that moment when your muscles aren't quite aware they've been released and haven't started their agony-inducement yet.

Ino laughed at the expression on her friend's face. "What? It was a simple question!"

Sakura clutched at her heart, as if shocked to the level of immaturity Ino could sink to. "We are in _public_!" She hissed, darting glances around at the unconcerned patrons.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty with me." Ino scoffed. "Just answer the question."

"I…well, I wasn't really paying attention _down there_." Sakura spluttered, spilling her tea everywhere. "It wasn't like it was actually something I do on a regular basis!"

Ino rolled her eyes. "_Riiiggghhht_. 4 men have been on your team, all with various level's of hotness, and you've never looked?"

Sakura hid her face. "Never on purpose! I can't help it if I get paired with complete horny bastards!"

Ino burst into laughter. "Beautifully put. But explain this to me: you said that he looked at you funny. Funny how? Like, 'Wow, I'm really glad Sakura-chan didn't kill me, it's a bit of a surprise though' or 'Wow, Sakura-chan is really pretty today!'"

Sakura flushed scarlet. "I dunno…the first one I guess."

Ino snorted again as if she doubted it.

"Well, you explain this to me then! I'm going out of my mind!"

Ino looked up, surprised at her friend's outburst. "Explain that to me."

"I…what?"

"Why is this business with Naruto driving you crazy? I mean, for as long as I can remember, you've hated him; he was always this stupid kid ruining your chances of being 'happy.' And now, whenever someone says his name, you do the whole blush thing."

Sakura did exactly as Ino said; she hurriedly gulped some tea.

"You know what Sakura? I think you love him."

Silence.

"That's…ridiculous." Sakura said evasively, avoiding her friend's eye. "Naruto is my friend and team-mate and I-"

"That's bullshit Sakura." Ino looked fierce and ready for battle. "You're scared to admit it, but you love him."

For once, both Sakura and Inner Sakura were silent.

"I can't believe it. You only get this chance once in a lifetime and you won't even take the it. I thought you were supposed to be courageous! You're supposed to be this-"

"Ino, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Silence. Ino looked thunderstruck.

"You think you know everything about me, but you don't!" Sakura felt tears well up, but she brushed them away forcefully. "Just because things didn't work out with Shika, doesn't mean that you can…it's way more complicated…"

She had gone too far, she knew even as she closed her mouth. Ino looked like Sakura had slapped her. The story of Ino and Shikamaru's romance had been Konoha gossip for ages: rumours flew that Ino had been pregnant, that she used her special ability for perverse use, that Shika cheated on her rampantly. In the end, they couldn't stick through the rumours…or maybe it was some other reason that no one knew. But Ino had definitely been worse for wear since. Sakura braced herself for the explosion.

"Your right."

_**I'm sorry. WHAT?!**_

"I'm living through you Sakura. But…just because I'm a stupid hypocrite doesn't mean my advice is bad." Ino smiled through watery eyes.

"Ino, I'm sorry-"

Ino waved her hand as if to brush the apologies away. "Forget it. Its done."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Ino…"

Sakura rotated the cup in her hands, staring into her reflection. "I really hate Naruto."

Ino raised her eyebrows.

"I hate him so much that I…I love him."

Silence.

"What about Sasuke-kun?"

The ghost of Sakura's former team-mate and crush floated between them, tangible and yet so far away. "I don't think he matters now Ino." Sakura said gently.

"Does that mean I can have him?" Ino said playfully.

Sakura burst into laughter. "Sure! Just as soon as we tear him away from Orochimaru, that's fine by me!" She said sarcastically.

"Guess that means we didn't need to cut our hair."

Sakura smiled. "I guess that means a lot of things."

--

"Master Iruka, have you ever been in love?"

Pausing in his ramen-eating, Iruka looked down at his young charge in surprise. Naruto looked entirely serious, not even so much as glancing at his plate. "Geez Naruto, way to surprise a guy! What makes you ask that?"

Naruto said nothing, just turned to his platter and moodily stabbed some ramen with his chopsticks.

Iruka sighed. "Maybe, once. A long time ago. Why?"

"What does love feel like?"

Iruka tugged on his headband. "I dunno Naruto, its kinda hard to describe. I guess…" He looked up at the ceiling, a frown of thought crossing his face. "I guess its an insane desire to be with that person, no matter what. Maybe like your being socked in the stomach all the time, whenever you even think about that person, but it doesn't feel bad; it feels good. And when you hear their voice, something snaps, and no matter how loud it is, their voice is the only thing you hear." Iruka shook his head. "Like I said, its been a while. But it feels…good. Really good."

"Better then winning a battle?"

Iruka grinned. "Way better."

Naruto looked thoughtful. "Huh."

"Out of curiosity Naruto, why do you ask?"

Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Oh. Well, see, the thing is-"

"Naruto!"

Iruka and Naruto turned to the door; it was Sakura, looking fearful and desperate. At the sight of her, so stricken with fear, Naruto's heart clenched.

"Sakura-chan, what is it?"

"Its Sasuke. He's at the border."

--

**A/N: _Duh duh duuuuhhh._**

**Holy hell, another chapter up. I'm doing well! . And with five reviews, this makes me very, very happy.  
So, to answer any and all questions, NO, they haven't done it yet, NO, there is no way in hell I'm making this an 'I-hate-you-but-actually-secretly-love-you" and YES, I love Ino/Shika. Who doesn't.  
I'm not as pleased with this chapter, mostly because I'm giving myself deadlines and forcing myself to stick to them. But hey, it came out well. Ish.  
Comments will be used to make me fllllyyyy.**


	3. Dead Last Again?

**Dead Last Again?**

**Disclaimer: Only the plot and perversivness is mine. The rest belongs to someone else. I envy them. You should too. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved and added me to their Autor Alert List. This one's for you!**

**--**

_At the border, at the border, at the border…_

Naruto was racing through all of Konoha, past trees and people and stands and all manners of thing, blind, uncontrolled emotion welling up inside, anger, yes, fear, of course, exhilaration, for sure; behind him raced Sai, Kakashi and Sakura, her face drawn and pale but her eyes determined. They weren't going to let Sasuke slip through their fingers this time.

"Up ahead." Kakashi called from ahead. Naruto's stomach tensed tightly.

_At the border, at the border, at the border…_

--

_I look up at the sky with blank, uninterested eyes; a few clouds drift in my line of vision. One of them strongly resembles a leaf, and I am reminded once more of my home, the land I defected from 3 years ago. Below me is unpaved ground, covered in footprints. "Why are we here?"_

"_Patience now." Kabuto says reprovingly, examing the landscape. "Our orders were clear, to await for Lord Orochimaru and meet with the ninja from the Sound."_

"_And why are we meeting them?"_

"_Operation Destroy Konoha." Kabuto answers simply; it is all I need to hear. I don't feel sadness or pain for my former village- indeed, I feel nothing at all. I am here for one reason: to kill Itachi. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is important._

_We had already killed someone. He was a Black Ops agent, and his partner and him had tried to stop us. Fools…don't they know by now that their power will never compare to my own? His partner didn't get away- we let him run. And now reinforcements will come, and the shedding of blood will begin again. It's a waste._

"_Leaf Ninja." Kabuto says suddenly._

_I turn with disinterest, but when I do, something clenches inside. Damn it…its like a curse, a cloud that follows me everywhere I go, and no matter where I hide, it trails behind me, only a step or two away._

_Naruto._

--

Naruto skidded to a halt only a few dozen paces from the clearing. There was that feeling that comes just before a battle: Naruto never could place it well. It wasn't fear- Naruto had laughed in the face of Death far too often to be fearful. It was…it was hope. Hope that a victory would bring him one step closer to becoming Hokage, to be seen by the village as a hero. That a failure would teach him what he needed to know, to become even stronger.

This time he didn't feel hope. He felt dread. He felt fear. He stared in the eyes of the person who could always get a rise from Naruto without saying anything at all.

Sasuke.

--

"_I see you're still as foolish as ever, Naruto." Kabuto's voice is taunting, the words meant to no doubt bring the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside Naruto out: to test the power of it, to see if it will indeed destroy the Akatsuki. I'm expecting it too…that moment when Naruto's eyes turn blood-red and that shocking amount of chakra seeps out. But it doesn't happen. Naruto looks cold and purposeful and…mature._

_What the hell? Naruto, mature?_

"_Kabuto." Its Kakashi-sen…Kakashi. He sounds very pleasant, probably smiling underneath that mask of his. I never did find out what was under that thing. "We're not interested in a fight."_

"_Ahh, Kakashi. Are you going to make your demands now?"_

"_Just simple orders that you should obey if you know what's good for you."_

"_Always the smart one." Kabuto smiles slyly. "Its too bad it won't do you any good here. I have orders from Orochimaru himself, and nothing is going to change that."_

"_We want Sasuke back."_

--

At the sound of Naruto's voice, echoing around the clearing, Sakura started and turned to look at him; straight-back, fists clenched, eyes boring a hole into their former team-mate. Sasuke returned the gaze calmly: not a flicker of emotion in his eyes.

Kabuto turned to face them, his own mask alight with savage pleasure. "Ah, the dunce speaks." He said mockingly.

Naruto didn't take the bait. "You can either give us Sasuke now, without a fight, or you can suffer. You're the smart one- you decide."

Kabuto's eyes widened and for one heart-stopping moment, Sakura thought that Naruto had pushed it too far, that Kabuto would attack and Naruto wouldn't be able to duck. Indeed, Kabuto started to reach for his belt; even as he did so, a sword before him called halt.

"I'll take him." Sasuke said lazily.

All gazes switched to Sasuke. Kabuto frowned.

"Lord Orochimaru was very clear-"

"Move. Or I'll run you through as well."

Kabuto hesitated, then bowed and moved aside.

"Do you really want to fight me, Naruto?" Sasuke said quietly. "Do you really want to suffer like this again?"

Naruto's face twitched. He was still Naruto in every sense, holding his temper this long would surely not have great consequences.

"Fight me." Sasuke said maliciously. "Fight me, and prove your not 'dead-last'."

He was going to: Naruto clenched his fists harder, but just as he started to move, there was a cry from behind him, a horrible, fearful cry, one that pierced Naruto's heart.

"Naruto! Help me!"

Four faces turned.

"Lord Orochimaru." Kabuto said reverently.

--

**A/N: Three chapters already!  
This chapter is one of my all time favs D I figure, you need a fight scene, right? It can't be Naruto without fighting! And this is my chance to try out different charactors. ; Which reminds me, PLEASE let me know if I get a charactor wrong: Sakura's too nice, Naruto too calm, etc etc. I'm hoping to get the smex up in chapters 4 or 5...or _both_! BWAHAHAHA! XD  
Reviews will be used to buy Naruto Ritalin. **


	4. Trapped!

**Trapped!**

**Disclaimer: NARUTO belongs to the creator and all around awesomeness that is ...that guy with the hard to spell name. . Perversivness is all mine. Thanks so the reviews!**

--

"Tsunade-sama!"

It was early morning. There was sunshine, there were pretty twittering birds, there was the promise of a lovely spring day.

There was one incredibly hung-over Tsunade. Who at that moment rolled over on her bed and lazily picked up her clock.

7:30 in the goddamn morning?!

With an audible groan, Tsunade rolled off her bed and swore several choice words to herself. Who the hell would call on her- she was notorious for more then monster strength!- at _7:30_. _AM_!

"Tsunade-sama, open the door!"

Shizune's voice pierced through Tsunade's drunken stupor; with a sigh that reeked of gin and other such liquor, Tsuande opened her door. "This had better be _really_ important Shizune."

Her friend's face was pale with anxiety and lack of sleep. She glanced around the room, probably to ensure no one else was there, before speaking. "Tsuande, Team 7 returned last night."

"Hey, that's great! How'd the mission go?"

"Badly. Naruto and Sakura are missing."

---

_12 hours earlier_

---

"Naruto! Help me!"

Naruto spun on his heel. He was between a rock and a hard place now: Sasuke and Kabuto were not people he was comfortable showing his back to. But the scene ahead of him was far more pressing.

Orochimaru pressed his sword closer to Sakura's neck. Whatever strength she had was somehow being repressed and restrained, and she could do little more then strain fruitlessly against the defect of Konoha's grasp.

Where was Kakashi and Sai?

"Put her down." Naruto could feel the fear lapping at his sides; he wasn't concerned about him, it was Sakura he feared for, but what could he do now?

"Well, Naruto?" Orochimaru's voice, so much like the hiss of a snake, pierced Naruto's eardrums. The mere fact that he was here, before him, so smug and cruel and disgusting, made the demon within Naruto stir, longing for release, to strike out, to bite, to sink his claws in and destroy this menace, to claim Sakura and Sasuke back. There was a rise in the air, Naruto could feel it.

Orochimaru hissed in pleasure. "_That's it_." He breathed, much to Sakura's horror. "_Show us your true colours, little Kyuubi_."

"Naruto!" Sakura cried out, straining even harder against her hold, to no avail. "Naruto! It's a trap!"

Too late. Naruto was transforming. The whiskers on his cheeks were becoming pronounced, his eyes were red and vicious, a little tale of chakra was forming.

"Naruto, no!"

"That's enough from _you_." Orochimaru whispered in her ear; as she shuddered in repulsion, he smashed his sword handle over her head. Sakura crumpled noiselessly to the ground.

If Orochimaru thought this would work in his favour, he was sadly mistaken. Naruto's eyes were mere pinpoints of rage now, his attention solely on destroying the man before him. "**Orochimaru!**"

Smug smiles were replaced with peaked frowns; this was different, Naruto seemed to have control over the beast inside him at this very moment.

"Naruto!"

Sai and Kakashi had arrived. Taking in the scene, Kakashi tugged down his mask to reveal his Sharigan eye: Naruto's chakra almost blinded him. "Naruto, stop! Your on an ancient mine sha-!"

Too late. The ground crumbled beneath them all. Naruto, too infused with the chakra of the Nine-Tails to notice and Sakura, unconscious, were the only ones who didn't jump away in time.

And then they were trapped under 40 feet of rock.

--

**Alright, this was a really short chapter and it is late late LATE, and I'm sorry. ;--; I swear, everyone is allowed to blame my school. Anyways, lemon's up in next chapter FER SURE, thanks so much for the reviews and favs =) and further reviews and favs will help me marry Peter Pevensie in Narnia. xD**


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